Book Review: My Song: Memoir of an ER Physician

My Song: Memoir of an ER Physician. Craig Dean, MD. Lulu Publishing Services, May 7, 2014. Trade Paperback, 427 pages.

Reviewed by Serena Wadhwa.

In My Song: Memoir of an ER Physician, Craig Dean tells 100 stories from his ER experience that have meaning to him. Many people operate under the assumption that ER physicians do not have feelings, and Dean attempts to counter that notion with some insight about both the internal and external world of one ER physician.

As a Chicago native, Dean received his medical training in Illinois and served as the director of the ER at Advocate Condell Medical Center in Libertyville, IL for 30 years. He initiated the largest hospital-based health and fitness facilities in the nation, is an avid supporter of health and wellness, and is and avid runner. He wrote a regular column both national and locally and was a host/producer of a TV series.  Dean wrote two fiction books, one for children and one for the general reader. My Song is Dean’s first attempt at a memoir.

Let me start with a disclaimer. As a clinician and assistant professor, I listen to countless stories from clients and students and invariably ask follow-up questions to get more of what I need from each story teller. Such follow-up questions aren't possible with a written memoir, of course, and that left me frustrated at times.

That said, Dean's 100 stories provided some touching moments that illustrated his “humanness.” For example, in the story about Athena, Dean writes, “In the emergency room, death is always difficult, and the death of a child is horrific to both the child’s family as well as the ER staff. On this day, mother, father, nurse, and doctor were offered the plate of Viktor Frankl’s tragic optimism. We all would be forever changed by this tragedy that linked our lives and became a potent, everlasting memory. My eyes were reddened that night, but they also saw more the truculent realities of fate.”

Another thing I enjoyed about this book are the snippets of objective facts relating to the story. For example, in the story of “The International ‘Guru’ of Preventive Medicine, William Castilli, MD,” I did not know that a Big Mac has 35 grams of fat (equivalent to a large syringe). Now, I don’t eat Big Macs, but this fact and description was interesting. The book is full of tidbits like this, as well as resources and readings that the author finds important and nourishing.

I also liked the integration of philosophical authors, references, and resources that the reader can seek for their own benefit. While I am familiar with most of them because of my field, I did discover several interesting books and resources that I hope to obtain. His integration of Jung, Greek and French terminology (with explanations), Frankl, Thoreau, and others provided a mix to his story-telling.

I find that memoirs are a different kind of writing than fiction or non-fiction. The author wants to tell a story, without embellishing it, and at the same time, provide a rich picture of the experience. Dean uses imagery to accomplish this goal, with mixed results. While the imagery in some of the stories conveyed the experience well, in other stories the imagery seemed choppy, as the author tried to go from the objective facts of the experience to a Shakespearean description. This criticism may be peculiar to me, because of my own background with stories, and not necessarily something that would bother another reader. Another thing I struggled with was the review sections for most of the stories. I wasn’t clear on the purpose of these and mainly skimmed through them.

While I did not have the opportunity to ask questions and get more of what I seek from Dean's storytelling, I found that most of the stories in this memoir were defining moments that made these the “gold dust” of his career.