Book Review: She’s out. I’m in.
She's Out. I'm In. Solutions to 7 Relationship Problems. Toneal M. Jackson & Dominique Wilkins. CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform, December 29, 2013, Trade Paperback and Kindle, 95 pages.
Reviewed by Robert Kingett.
If someone were to ever get into any kind of relationship, they would undoubtedly run into a few snags here and there and quarrel a bit. There are many resources on the web that address this situation, but there's nothing definitive in its own way and in a singular binding that's also conveniently small—until now.
She’s out. I’m in, despite what the title hints at, is a book that a person of any gender can learn from regarding such issues as cheating, self-esteem, money agreements, physical and emotional abuse, blended families, communication, setting boundaries, trust, and many other barriers to a healthy relationship.
Each scenario begins with a fictionalized account, with fictional people, effectively acting out the scenario, much like a self-help video. The fictional characters and situations are centered on the main topic of discussion as referenced in the chapter title. The scenes depict how the couples meet and provide a bit of background on everything from the way they grew up to their history in regard to the overall relationship, making a real nice and even transition into the main discussion and problem at hand.
After the scenario is presented, the following sections provide detailed solutions, looking at the fictional scenarios to point out key aspects of rhyme and reason and building up to many effective solutions. There are different facets that unravel the fabric of a healthy relationship, some within bigger issues, and the solutions provide a basis for solving many possible problems. Everything is described in a naturally calm style that will have every reader effectively understanding the problems and solutions. Excessive medical jargon is not used, so it would appear that the book serves its purpose: to act as a stable foundation where people can begin the journey to discovery and improvement.
The book definitely delivers what it promises, but the fact that every problem started with a fictional event kept pulling me away from the message that I was supposed to hear and grasp. The characters in the fictional scenes acted in ways that I would have handled differently, so when the solutions appeared a few pages later, I constantly compared myself to the characters portrayed and felt that I’d never do what they did or that I would have acted in a different way entirely. Because the reader is supposed to learn from the character’s mistakes, rather than analyzing their own possible mistakes, I couldn't really feel as though the solutions were for me to behold. As a result, I was left with a definitive disconnect throughout the book, thereby ruining the author’s intentions completely. It was as if I had stumbled into a private psychology session only to eavesdrop, and this technique didn't hold the weight as it might for other readers.
Even though I didn't feel a connection or feel as if this book really “understood” where I was coming from with my line of thinking, the vast array of resources provided throughout the text and the solid solutions to the given problems make this a very usable book. The book is suitable for individuals who want to glimpse some very small and yet effective solutions to situations they—or someone they know—may be going through. This book didn't leave me feeling a sense of resolve but there's a lot of substance behind every page, clearly defined and outlined in a book that is just right for readers who will benefit from it.